Kevin Allen’s Excellent Halloween Adventure

My laptop has been between repairs for a few weeks, and it’s kept me from blogging about my time rehearsing “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure”. That, a confidentiality agreement, respect for the director’s wishes, and a love of surprise. But Tuesday night was our preview, tomorrow night is our opening night, and I feel like blogging about it.

I have itching to talk about it and share experiences from it with friends. I’m going to wait until after opening weekend before sharing anything spoilery. Still, I have to talk about how great Tuesday night was.
I was wearing my first costume for the show, ready and waiting. Well, not waiting. I was so excited that preview night had finally come. I was happy for the cast and crew in finally getting to share our awesome show with everyone. I was elated. In general. I was walking around too happy and eager to be nervous or anxious that I was about to perform in the most fast-paced, specifically blocked, arena-audienced, dance-number-infused show I’ve ever been in. Still, I forced myself to sit and calm down. So, I take a spare seat on a very comfortable couch that just happens to be facing the largest of our backstage monitors. I find myself relaxing and watching television, and what I’m watching is the opening number for “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure”. I’m watching the show. But I’m also in the show. This is surreal. This is awesome! This show is so awesome! I had the unique pleasure of watching the highly anticipated premiere of a show that I have an absurd love for, while also knowing that in mere moments I get to go out and be a part of that show.
The incredibly spectacular and perfect opening number ends, so I get up and do last looks before making my way to the stage. Now I’m on stage. I’m concealed in shadow, my head is down hiding the audience from me, I’m just feeling the energy. It’s great. Suddenly I hear the entrance theme for Bill and Ted. And thank the director that I’m blocked to do so; I turn my head, look up, and above me is a smoking phone booth, out of which step Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted “Theodore” Logan. I can hardly contain my excitement. The audience is roaring, and I just want to roar with them. However, grinning from ear to ear is perfectly acceptable for me to do onstage, and I am. Right now I’m the fanboy I always have been, except now I just happen to have a pretty cool seat onstage. They come down to the stage, strolling around some of us characters, but Ted (the role I’ve always been after) turns to me and gives me a look that says “oh hey, it’s you!” I give the look back, as is perfectly in character. So that’s the moment I switch from being Kevin Allen (in a costume) to the character whose costume I’m wearing.

After that I stayed in character. I still am a professional after all.

The shows were great. We had three magnificent crowds of friends, peers, and well-wishers. They energy was more than we asked for, the response was so much more than we had hoped for. It was outstanding. The shows themselves weren’t perfect, as is to be expected. Technically we are still rehearsing. This is just the run through that incorporates the audience, the last element of the production, and the one that will change things the most. And due to the oh so unique and specific nature of this theme park stage production, we were still new to a lot of these show elements. So of course not everything went smoothly. I myself fell victim to some technical cues being missed, faulted with one of my quick changes, smacked my head on stone steps, and was almost engulfed in fire. And that was all in the second show. Each show had it’s on little bumps, and there were some things which repeated for all three. I messed up my… shall we call it, combat demonstration… in all three of the shows despite having little issues with it in rehearsal. But that’s just how it is. So none of the shows were perfect, but they were still amazing.
Even so, even through technical hiccups or fumbled stage directions, we were making adjustments that made the show even better. Some great moments came out of what should have been some bad ones. And then we take a step back and say, why didn’t we do that the first time! There were so many new moments that made the show crazy awesome. By the end of the third show, when we fixed our little mess-ups and those new discoveries were incorporated in, the show felt flawless. It wasn’t. But it sure felt like it! I know it was for me, I was having the time of my life!

Back to the first show for a moment. My first show. My first, long awaited performance in the ‘Bill & Ted show’. I got to watch the opening number as Kevin Allen, the fan. I performed in the show as Kevin Allen, the actor. The book portion of the show had wrapped. Then came the closing number. I rushed backstage for my last quick change, and someone had moved the wig for the final character I played. I’m wearing his ratty, grunge-era jeans, a t-shirt, suspenders, and hi-top Converse All-Stars. My cue finally comes, the wig is nowhere to be found, so I go out anyway. I ran out, hit my mark, and started rocking out. Okay, one spoiler, the final number is a rock anthem. So I went out there and did everything as rehearsed, but to me, I was just rocking out. And I happened to be wearing outfit that wasn’t mine, but is something I’d go to a concert in. (I used to wear suspenders every once in a while.) So for that closing number, I was Kevin Allen, the rocker. And all I was doing was rocking out on stage with Bill and Ted. It was the perfect and totally unexpected moment that every fanboy dreams of. After years of being a fan and wanting to hang out with the band, they pull me on stage and let me rock out with them. It was most surreal. And way awesome. And still I was having too much fun to notice. I was too busy having the time of my life.

When we all finally came down from our euphoria, and gathered for notes, cuz there were notes, we were still all very happy. The show was a success. The audience loved it. The technical crew made magic. The costuming crew performed miracles. The cast got cheers. The writer got laughs. The choreographer blew the roof off. The director put on one hell of a show. And the producers made it possible. We all were so happy for each other, and so proud of each other. I can’t say much about the show yet, but I can say this: I am so fortunate to get to work with such excellent teams of outstanding individuals who came together to pull off an unbelievable show. I kept saying if there was ever a year for me to finally be part of the show, I’m glad it’s this one. At first I said that because of the characters and the music were right up my alley. But now I’m saying because I got to work with so many talented people who believed in me when I showed up, supported me when I slipped, and praised me when I pulled it off. I am so very fortunate to be doing what I love with these people. The show really is outstanding, and it’s because of all the people involved. We have been most excellent to each other, and now we get to party on.

Sorry for the lame closing line, I can’t help being a fan.

Looking for my type and finding… myself.

(Too cheesy?)
This is going to be a different take on GPOY Wednesday...
This past spring I was trying to revive my all but dead acting career. To do this in the best manner possible I have to really know what it is I've got going on for me. Some advice I was given from a name casting director before moving out to LA was to play my type. Play the hand I've been dealt. But in order for that to happen I have to know what cards I'm holding. I had no idea what my type was. In high school I was the fool. In early college I was typed as the shady love interest. In the latter half of college I played the asshole rock star. Then I was the geek. Then I was the cute everyman. I could not figure out what the common denominator for these ever changing archetypes was. When I asked the CD what my type was she had a hard time figuring it out and finally settled on someone who wasn't the leading man and wasn't the character role, but this weird and rare thing in between that barely gets work. Still, as auditions and castings continued, I struggled with the question, What is my type?
I stumbled across a workshop that would help me to find the answer. Sam Christensen Studios was holding a workshop on public self image. I believe that's what they called it. Anyway, the focus of the workshop was to have a full understanding of who you are as a person, as an actor, as a public figure, whatever. It was about rediscovering the person that friends and family see you as and discovering the person that everybody sees you as, then filtering through it with the person you see yourself as until you find an image of yourself that everybody can agree on.
I feel saying any more on the class would betray Sam's process. But I'll let you know it was an involved process. And it lead me to this:

That's right. It's a picture of me if I were made of words. For the record, the word cloud wasn't Sam's idea. I just did that to have what Sam lead me to all in one place. And I tried to form the words into a picture, but it didn't work. But this does! It's not perfect. Believe me I tried. But it includes everything, which is why words like "brings", "tap", and "Mr" are in there. I also tried to get the cloud to put relative emphasis on the words which were repeated, but it doesn't account for when someone uses certain words three times within the same phrase. STILL! All of it matters! So it's all in there! Just, very disjointed.
I waited to talk about the class because I wanted to see what it would do for me first. Couldn't ruin the experiment, ya know. Unfortunately I've been working too much to be auditioning. (How great is that?!) And since I won't be auditioning for at least another month, I might as well blog about it now. Plus I felt it was about time to mention it. It kinda piggy backs on Monday's blog about finding a new look. Nevertheless, in the meantime, it's helped me to present myself, spruce up my reels, and has helped me nail the few auditions I have gone in for.
I still don't know what type casting directors will see me as. I could be the dork, the cute guy, the rock star, heck I could even be the leading man on a good day. But I think I know much more valuable stuff. First and foremost, I know I'm Kevin Allen, and I am all of those words.
Well... maybe not "Mr".

The trouble finding a new look.

It occurred to me recently that I only wear my work attire. And after coming to this realization, I still have gone to hang out with friends on a few occasions just in my work clothes. But soon I’ll be starting rehearsals for my shiny new job, and I’ll probably get to wear my own clothes again. The trouble is, I really don’t have any.

Okay, that’s not true. I have more t-shirts than I’ll ever need. But still! I have somehow manage to ruin every pair of jeans I own. I made an attempt to patch a few up, but I am not handy with sewing at all. So the plan to mend them pretty much failed. But lucky me, I’ll have some money coming in soon thanks to my shiny new job. So, eventually, I’ll be able to go out and by some new jeans. And shoes.  And everything. I’ve been meaning to update my wardrobe for the longest time. And it seems like my preferred method of self-improvement is the phoenix approach. Meaning, I waited until my wardrobe breaks down so that I can build it back up again. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes. In cool new threads. So I gotta figure out a new look for myself, and then go find the pieces for it, and then wear them. Trouble is, I have no idea what look to go for.

I think a good place to start would be with my hair. Figure out a haircut that looks good on me, fits my personality, call it “the Kevin Allen”, and wear it all the time. My stylist pointed out to me that for the last year I’d only get my hair cut or styled because I had to look like fictional animated characters. Oh, and one time to look like a character I played. But still, each time I got my hair cut was because I was playing some character! I think it’s about time I got my haircut for me! Trouble is, I’m not allowed.

Cuz of that shiny new job as a stage actor, I can’t get a haircut until the director says I can. And I’m sure if I do I’ll only get to in order to look whichever characters I’m playing. So forget the hair! I’ll just get a cool new hat with my cool new clothes! Whatever they are. Back to square one… in need of a new wardrobe and not knowing where to start. I could go back to my favorite thrift (or “vintage”, since I live in LA) stores and see what I like. … Trouble is… I rarely find anything at thrift stores that actually fits me.

I’m probably not going to find anything that actually fits my long, narrow, awkward build. Part of me wanting a new look is cuz I’ve outgrown drooping pants that are too short for me and tucking back the extra room in my dress shirts. I found one shirt a while back that fit me perfectly and I love it, but I don’t expect to find many like it again. I mean, I only found it cuz I was looking for a costume piece for a specific fictional animated character. Wait a minute… That’s it!! I’ll just dress like the characters I like to dress as! Part of why I like looking like them is cuz I like their look! And their look works for them. It could work for me. This could work!

Okay then. My new look will be a blend of Spike Speigel, Flynn Rider, and Marshall Lee the Vampire King.

Kevin’s Excellent News

Remember that big audition I blogged about last week? I GOT IT!!
I just got off the phone with Universal Studios Hollywood, and I'm very excited to say that they gave me an offer to join the cast and take part in the 2012 "Bill & Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure"! The show is the comic relief of their notorious Halloween Horror Nights event. So I'm thrilled that I get to continue being a part of HHN and returning to all my scare-acting buddies, but also that I get to do so in the show that I've been after since working at Universal Orlando.
I'm about to embark on a most unprecedented exposition.

The Dark Knight Rises

Usually for my reviews I find an alternate poster to share. One that American audiences don't get to see, but really should. Almost always these are international posters that, for some reason, are deemed not worthy of attracting the interest of movie goers. This time I'm posting something different. This is a collection of fan-made posters by Messenjahmatt. And I did enjoy The Dark Knight Rises advertising campaign, just the same, these are movie posters that would have been really cool to see in movie theaters and bus stops.

I wasn't planning on doing a review of The Dark Knight Rises, and in a way I'm still not. This will be more of a lecture. Again, something different. The film is outstanding. There were plenty of moments in the movie that had me stunned and whispering "oh no" to myself. But I didn't come out of the theater inspired to write about it like I was with the previous movies I've reviewed. Not because it didn't resonate in me, but there was nothing about the film which stuck out to me and I thought would go unappreciated. I knew everyone was going to see the movie, and I was certain that people would recognize all the immense awesomeness in it. I could give my opinions on Christopher Nolan's adaptation of Bane, or on how much I love Alfred. (Can I hug you Alfred? Please? I just really want to give you a hug and tell you how great you are.) But after seeing some other blogs written about the movie, I found something worth bringing up and writing out. I do feel there is an aspect of the film that is under-appreciated; the entire point of the Dark Knight Trilogy.
I feel enough time has passed I can post this without ruining someone’s day. But just in case,

SPOILER ALERT!

It seems Nolan picked a keyword for each of his three films to use over and over, thematically. His cleverness is in using this keyword in a multitude of fashions to explore all the themes this word can provide, and of course tie it all in to the Batman saga. In Batman Begins it was “fear”. Bruce had to overcome his fear. Batman used fear as a tool. The Scarecrow exploited fear. The League of Shadows manufactured fear from a little flower and used fear as an instrument of destruction. It was Batman versus the Scarecrow, the two guys whose personae are all about fear. For The Dark Knight, obviously it was “knight”. Harvey Dent was the White Knight, Batman the Dark Knight. Then there was a play on words with the night being darkest just before the dawn and so on. But it was about Gotham’s two knights. Now for The Dark Knight Rises, I know you’ve probably thought of a drinking game with how many times the word “rise” is used. A fire is rising in evil. Batman must rise again. Bruce must rise to meet the occasion. The people rise up. Bruce has to rise out of a pit while everyone chants “Rise!” at him. The word is used more times than I care to count and for pretty much every major character in the movie. This is where all the confusion comes from, because the audience has difficulty placing where to put the emphasis. And being such a difficult and important obstacle to overcome, it makes sense that people would place the moment with the pit and people yelling “rise!” over and over as the pivotal moment of rising which the title suggests. Especially when that chant is used as the majority of the film’s score. But it’s not. The primary moment takes place, as it did in the previous two films, in the last seconds of the movie, right before the title card comes up. It’s the moment when John Blake discovers the batcave, steps forward, and rises up, as the new Batman. That is the moment when the Dark Knight rises.
That's right. John Blake is the new Batman. Not Nightwing. Not Robin. I know his legal name is Robin, but that was nothing more than Christopher Nolan having fun. It's just a nod. The franchise has did it before with the Riddler and Zsasz in the two previous films, albeit in a much subtler way. John Blake's origin story is, in a way, an amalgamation of the Robins', and so there's reason to suggest he is in fact Nolan's version of the Boy Wonder. However, he can't be. When he found the batcave it was filled with bat-stuff. Doing anything other than being Batman with it would just be a waste. Secondly, after becoming a caped crusader, Robin would never make his crime fighting name his actual name. No one of intelligence would. And finally, while there are similarities to the Robins, even his name, he is still a different character. His is John Blake, an orphan who grew up to become a police officer, and then Batman.
He is destined to don the cape and cowl and continue the Batman legend. Bruce Wayne left Blake with the coordinates of the cave so that he could provide him with the tools necessary to be Batman. He knew Blake would provide the rest. Bruce finally found someone he trusted with the Batman mantle, and, in doing so, could pass it on. He finally could let go of being Batman and move on with life. Just as Alfred hoped he would. After all, that was the point. Bruce couldn't be Batman forever. The film clearly showed how his body was giving out, how Wayne Enterprises was waning, and how everything that Bruce Wayne could give himself to in the name of Batman was wearing thin. If Batman would continue to live, he would have to do so without Bruce Wayne. Bruce was never meant to live up to the needs and expectations of Batman. He can't. The entire purpose of Batman was to allow Bruce to do more than he could as Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne is just a man. An incredible, near superhuman, disciplined to his very core man. Still, Batman is something more.
Once again, Nolan focused on a key element of Batman in each film. In Batman Begins, Bruce Wayne came to the idea of a symbol. One which wouldn't be ignored, and couldn't be destroyed. Batman is indestructible and incorruptible. In The Dark Knight, when Bruce is faced with the trouble of what to do to make things right, he has the faceless figure Batman to make the difficult choice and suffer its consequences. Batman can endure. Now, eight years later, in The Dark Knight Rises, Alfred reminds Bruce of all these qualities that Batman has, and that Bruce does not. Bruce can be destroyed. Bruce cannot endure. But he also reminds him of one thing about Bruce which does make him special. Only he can be Bruce Wayne. Batman, however, could be anyone. Nolan suggested this already in The Dark Knight when several citizens got their own capes and cowls to be wannabe Batmen. Any person could play the role, it's just only a very select few would do it well. So far it's just Bruce Wayne and John Blake. But Bruce has finally moved on. Now it's up to John Blake. Batman continues.

Honestly, my only real criticism of the film is the moment where John Blake's true name is revealed to be Robin. It was cute, but it really muddled up things. Him suddenly being Robin distracted the audience from him actually being Batman. By which I mean the next Batman. And thus it distracted from the moral of the story, anyone can be a hero. Each of those four men in the fan posters are heroes of Gotham. Each in their own way contribute to the role of Batman and ensure his success. But even more, on their own, each of them are heroes. A businessman who holds together a company so it may support charities to provide homes for orphans. A cop who isn't afraid to whatever is necessary to protect others. A father figure who bears hatred and sacrifices his happiness for something more important. And a man who put a coat around a little boy's shoulders to let him know that the world hadn't ended. Each of them are heroes. Because he fought for good and put himself in harms way to do what needed to be done, People believed Harvey Dent was Batman. So why not any of these four men? Given the opportunity, they each would rise to the occasion. Well as it turns out, one of them did.

Kevin's Excellent Audition

I’m a huge fan of Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. I couldn’t really tell you why, I just love it. In high school I found out Universal Studios Orlando had this show they do every year for Halloween where Bill and Ted host a chaotic stage show of pop culture references and parodied characters. It’s basically pure craziness and fun on stage, centered around Bill and Ted. Ever since I heard about the show I’ve made it my goal to be part of that show. Every year I’ve had the chance to audition, I auditioned. This year was my sixth attempt. I finally made it all the way to the end of the audition, and I feel most triumphant.

So, going back a bit, I always wanted to play Ted “Theodore” Logan. Each year I would audition as Ted, and each year I would be called back for him and a major villain from whatever year it was. Like, Magneto, Sylar, Anton Chigurh… Each year I’d give a great read, get laughs, and make it past the cut onto the dance portion of the callback. And each year I would get after doing my best to follow along with the dancers. I’d always accept that I wasn’t a dancer and it’s no surprise I wasn’t picked for a very dance-heavy show. But it would also be frustrating watching the show each year and be unimpressed with the Ted onstage not living up to my fanboy expectation. After one year, when the repeatedly cast Ted actor decided not to do the role and I once again was not cast to replace him, I pretty much gave up on ever getting to play Ted. Much less be part of the show.
The next year I moved to California to do Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Hollywood. But I missed out on the Bill & Ted Halloween Spectacular auditions. I, of course, still participated in HHN. And of course, I watched the show. Much to my surprise, I liked the Ted. I thought he looked the part, and he acted it well. Once again, I pretty much gave up hope of replacing the repeat choice, but I wasn’t bitter about it. I was just happy there was a good Ted on state. Still! I wanted to play the role! So I auditioned the following year, just so see what would happened. And once again, I was called back for Ted, then cut after the dance portion. It was very clear what it was I needed to improve upon if I were ever going to get into this show.

Two years later. I’m auditioning for the show again. However, this time I decide to audition as the major villain from the year, Loki. I love the character, I look the part, and every person I mentioned I was auditioning as him to would get wide eyed and proclaim I would be a perfect Loki. I felt great about it. I wrote up a monologue about how Halloween is the perfect occasion to bow down to the God of Mischief. I was ready for this one, and very excited to play the part, even if only for a minute. When my time to audition came, I sauntered in, slowly delivered my speech, and had a great audition.
I made it past the first cut. Now it was onto the dance portion. Things were different this year. Rather than have us dance to an overly poppy and happy remixed top 40 hit like Bill & Ted auditions usually do, they had us dance to an overly poppy and remixed version of Gotye’s smash “Somebody I Used to Know”, which has a very frustrated tone. So this year, they didn’t want us to smile and have that feeling of frustration instead. That made things easier on me. I felt inspired for this song, and it totally fit the Loki vibe I was trying to play. And the number itself was a lot of fun. I would’ve smiled and been happy dancing to it, but it’s so much more fun to be angsty when dancing to pop music. I have to say, I had a good grasp of the dance, despite some trippy footwork timing. And I was enjoying the hell out of having angry arm gestures and stomping to an artist I really like. I was having fun, I had a darn good grasp on the routine, and I was feeling pretty confident. But, like every year, as soon as they put us into small groups and had me do it for the judges, I screwed it up.
I thought this year was sure to be no different than every other year. But before I could collect my stuff to go feel that way, they wanted the guys to do one more thing. You ever heard of a shirt check? Cuz I hadn’t. But I knew exactly what it was. I’ve seen this show enough to know what they were looking for. All the guys, most of whom are dancers and stuntmen, lined up and took our shirts off. I did my best not to think twice about it. Or consider that I haven’t even worn short sleeves in public for half a year, with exception to one day in which I cropped a great deal of photos to keep people from knowing just how skinny I had become. So I took my shirt off and stood there like I wasn’t freaking out at all. And when they had seen enough, I walked out returning my two shirts to their rightful place and headed back to the waiting area to await judgement. When they came out with the golden tickets, I did my best to stay optimistic, like I do every year. I started changing my outfit, cuz ‘they’ll need me to wear this to do that cuz they still want me.’ And while I sat there like I wasn’t freaking out at all, they called my number.
It took me a moment to realize that had just happened. But when I did I stood up and couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. I was so proud. I was so excited! I made it past my ceiling! I finally made it past the one part that had thwarted me time and time again. I couldn’t believe it. I was ecstatic. I felt so privileged to have been chosen. And I was well aware I was not cast, and this meant very little in the long run. But I was just so proud. And relieved. This was a huge deal for me.

Today were the callbacks. The real callbacks. The one they told us to bring our game face for. It consisted of cold reads of sides, which I had done before with Universal Orlando. For the sake of not jinxing anything I am not going to get into what I read. But I will say it was not Loki. (Too tall.) But I will say that, just as in past years, I gave a pretty darn good read, got a laugh, and felt great about that portion of the callback. Then it was back to dancing.
They told us it would be a more intense dance number. I’m not sure what to think about it. I want to say it was easier, but it may just have been more fun. Or maybe just more akin to the sporadic style of hip hop dancing I do. Whatever it was, I was digging this combination. No clue about the song, but I was having a lot of fun with the dance. I felt like I had a great grasp of it too. But, I was totally aware that I’ve felt that way before, so I would mark through it every couple of plays just to make sure I wouldn’t forget a step. Well, I ended up being in the last group to go, so I had plenty of practice. It was just three of us, and I knew the other two weren’t big dancers which means I couldn’t leach off of them should I forget a step and need to get back on track. If I was gonna pull this off, I’d have to trust myself. So I got ready, took a deep breath, and then I threw all my nerves out the window and just partied with this dance number. I had fun. I just danced! I mean, I did all the right steps when they wanted me to do it. But I can’t imagine what my face looked like. Knowing me, I was making all kinds of stupid faces. Stupid, cocky, hamming-it-up faces. I had this. I was rockin’ this dance! We did two rounds of it. I got a little sharper the second time. And then we were all done. They thanked us for our time and talent, which I really did appreciate, and then I returned to the waiting area.

I really didn’t know what to feel this time. Or what to convince myself of how I should try to feel. But they came out to make one more cut. This was it. After this it would just be improv, which I always always always hoped to get to cuz I knew I could impress, and company paperwork like stuff. If I was going to go home, it would be right now. Being one of the last people to dance, I had to wait through the whole list of random numbers until finally, hopefully, if-only-ly…. 18. I was called. They wanted me back. They wanted me to continue in the audition. I could have crowed I was so excited. I honestly could not believe I had gotten this far. I still can’t. I became very familiar with the feeling of having been cut from this audition. Five times. This feeling though… this one was new. I freaking loved it!

After a break to get some lunch, I returned to the auditioning process for one more go at the dance, just for kicks, some light improv, and a whole lot of fun. For the sake of respecting their audition process and what they probably want people not to blather all over the internet, I will not say what went on and what they were looking for this round. And honestly that’s not the point. I don’t even care. When I was walking away to go have lunch I had to keep telling myself that I still needed to care about the rest of the audition. I was just so happy that I had made it past my dancing handicap and gotten as far as I did. I was so happy! Anything past that would just be icing on the cake. If I didn’t get cast I wouldn’t be upset at all. I mean, don’t get me wrong! I would LOVE to finally be a part of this show And as happy, honored, and proud as I am now, I can’t even tell you how big a deal it would be for me if I actually got cast. But for now, I’m thrilled just to been as successful as I have been today. I feel like Lincoln just announced how awesome I was to my whole high school class.

I mean it, I love that movie.

[wails on electric air guitar]

At work a co-worker asked for a drink for their “drive down the hill.” I thought they said their “descent into hell.” I began to think about what drink I would want if I were venturing into Hell. I think I’d ask for milk and honey, cuz I’m pretty sure they won’t have either of these things going into hell. And while discussing our last request beverage of choice with another co-worker, I was convinced I’d wanna booze it up some to settle the nerves. Since I’d be going into hell. So what I’ve settled on is Bärenjäger and cream, chilled of course. I just need to come up with a good name for it.

SDCC or Bust or Best Offer

Last week it finally sank in that San Diego Comic-Con had been pushed up two weeks from their usual dates. Then I realized I had completely mismanaged my time. Had they stuck with the last weekend of July like they usually do, my costumes would be ready, my hair would be the right length, I’d have money… heck, maybe I would even be in the shape I want for con season. But no, I had a week. What to do, what to do. Lucky for me, I planned costumes that I, Kevin Allen non-sewer, could put together fairly easy. Trouble is, as quick and painless as these costumes are in comparison with most of the stuff people wear at SDCC, they each required one troublesome item to make it work. So now I had to figure out what to do about each of these items. It would be hard, but I think I could pull it off. So long as I keep in mind I’ve come down to the last minute every other year, and there’s no reason this year should be different. I’d have just enough money to pull it off, so that. And I made plans with friends on where to stay, what to wear, who to hang out with… I could do this.

Thursday night. One week to SDCC. While at rehearsal with Pirates For Hire, my car gets towed. I’m out $280some dollars. So much for everything. Now I don’t have the money to go Comic-Con, let alone dress up for it. The event I’ve been rehearsing for is no longer to get some extra income, it’s to break even. The days I pushed to get off work will now be wasted. Just my luck. A week ‘til Comic-Con.

The next day I got a pay check, that puts me just over broke. And with my foolhardy determination and refusal to let life get the better of me, the thought is now in my head about how I can pull this off. I’m well aware it’s a bad idea. That there’s so much more I could use money for instead. That there’s more important things I could use my time for. But I really wanna go. And my unwavering determination to follow through with my goals tells me that afford the last pieces for my costumes if I skip out on paying for a room and instead sleep in my car. Then again, at this point I can’t even do the two costumes I was most excited for. The ones which are perfectly relevant this summer. But there’s still the last two I can do. And it’d still be fun to be there. And I have a variant cover I need to get artists to draw on. It would still be worth it, right?
I have been dwelling on this non-stop, and I still can’t make up my mind. I know what my logical, rational mind is telling me. But then there’s the rest of me, the adventurous spirit who sees all these dilemmas as mere challenges, who believes it can be done. And if it can be done, why not let it be done. Then it says “don’t answer that rational side.”
Honestly the biggest reason for me to want to go is simply just to not be thwarted. I know people says “there’s always next year.” But I said that last year. And this I got a pro pass. And this year I was putting my own costumes together. And this year I was gonna do my own thing. Granted two of those things are now on infinite hiatus. But still! I won’t get a second chance with Dragon*Con because I’ll be away with Pirates For Hire. And after getting my car towed for them I’m certainly gonna stick with them until something positive comes out if it again.

I’m just so… disappointed that I can’t do those two outfits. If there ever was a right time to do them, it would be now. Personally I’d prefer two weeks from now, but now. And as far as the other two, they’re still awesome! I just don’t mind waiting for them. I mind waiting for the first two. And regardless, I still want to go away and have fun for a few days. I want to hang out with friends. I want to see sights and get my picture taken. I want to not be defeated, still be involved, and continue having that adventurous summer I continue to strive for.
I’m so used to being the “all or nothing” type. And I’m trying to work on that and remind myself that just cuz I don’t have all four outfits, and that each one of them is not perfect, is no reason to scrap everything. But as long as I keep that in mind, I’ll want to do as much as humanly possible to take part in SDCC as much as humanly possible. Which is why I can’t pick a simple “yes I will” or “no I won’t. maybe next time.”

I’ve got a few days, give or take to figure this out, maybe get those last pieces, and clean out my car.

Being creepy at the Labyrinth of the Jareth

This past weekend I had the privilege of performing at the Labyrinth of Jareth Masquerade Ball. It's a "fantasy masque event" obviously inspired by Jim Henson's Labyrinth, particularly the "As the World Falls Down" scene. Just like in the scene, everyone dresses in their finest fantasy-inspired formal costumes and masks to enjoy a lavish ball celebrating lavish fantasy inspired costumes. I'd say the wardrobe and make-up community takes the opportunity to show off their work, but in truth, it's probably mostly costumers who just feel like going all out once a year.
It's an event that as an amateur-at-best costumer I've always been intimidated by. I attended last year as Prince Lir with other friends all dressed from The Last Unicorn. My costume was pretty spot on, though not entirely complete. And despite many compliments and praise on the costume and the rest of my unicorn entourage, I still felt underdressed. Trust me, people go all out on Labyrinth.

Anyway, a friend of mine called me up and asked if I would be interested in joining the cast. At the time I had no money to build a costume and buy a ticket, so being given a role to perform at the event was the perfect solution. I joined up, came in to meet the team, and eventually got to rehearsals. As I'm getting inducted into the cast and crew, I gotta say I felt really out of place. Not only because I was a last-minute addition to a fairly well established clique of performers, but because I knew nothing of the show element of LoJ. Not only was I shamefully unaware of the shows last year, I had no clue of what this year's one was about. They told me I would be playing a Lich, who rule of the Talisk, a race of Dark Elves who branched off to practice soul sucking as a method of self preservation rather than the other group who--and then I was explained the long history of elvish politics. This started with them asking me, do you know what a dark elf is, and me cautiously responding with "...an elf, but.. darker?" Eventually I caught up on my role in the production, and the show in general, but I never really had a grasp on it. Still, as long as I knew my part, I was fine. I could tell this was a great group of people who were passionate about creating a quality show and fully capable of doing so. And they were really nice. When it comes down to it, that's all I need to work.
So now it was time my scene. I was playing a relatively small role, only needed for two scenes. In the more involved scene, I come out to drain the energy from our leading lady so that I may restore my own life force and continue existing. If I recall correctly, the directory wanted me and my lich companion to appear as broken when we moved, and remain low, so that when we are first seen, not only is it creepy, but it shows that we are weary and frail creatures despite being a totally powerful threat. Then we suck some soul from the heroes and we can stand erect, rejuvenated once more, and we can continue from there. So when it came time, I mustered up my HHN experience and walked out with every joint I had bent and moved in a jagged line until I reached my victim, where I hunched over, then convulsed my chest, let my arms follow in the motion, and for some reason thought standing on foot would help illustrate what was going on. After a few goes at it, talking with the lich girl and playing around until we got what we wanted out of it, and still standing on one foot like it's a good idea, we had the physicality of the Lich crafted. Which is good, because we were also told the Lich can only communicate by movement anyway.

So here's where I start to brag. The director was pleasantly surprised with how well I moved as this decrepit being. I got praise and a few constructive notes, which made me feel really good about being thrown into this show and having to catch up to the team of very talented dancers and a practicing troupe of stunt-fighters who were brought in for the same scene I was in. What made me feel even better was at the end of the night when the fight choreographer came up to shake me hand and tell me good job. This was a big deal because the troupe was SFI, and he was one of the instructors, and I was this kid who was looking to join up with them. I don't know if he was joking or not, but I could have sworn I heard him lean into the director during one of my run-throughs and say "I wanna work with this guy." I was ecstatic. Whether or not that is true, having him come up after to tell me I'm doing good work still made me feel awesome. And as if that wasn't enough, the director told me I should look up a certain play, because "if [I] can talk as half as good as [I] can move", she wants to work with me on this play. How awesome is that?! I could've just been offered a hearty role in a pretty cool sounding play from a rehearsal! And to keep me invested in this group of people, not that they really needed to, these two came up to me after most every rehearsal and reminded me that I'm still doing very well. Which I never tire of hearing. It's always good to know I'm doing good work and making my directors happy.
As rehearsals continued my lich companion and I got compliments from others who were coming in to the rehearsals to see what was going on. And by compliments I mean people saying we were genuinely creepy and looked really messed up. That made me feel so good, which is odd. Honestly, I can't tell how I'm coming across, and to be perfectly truthful, I can only imagine that I look like I'm just convulsing around like a dingus, so I welcome reassurance in that what I'm doing works. Especially when I'm surprised to hear one of our rehearsals is going to be broadcast.
So finally the weekend we've all been waiting for comes. My costume is wicked, they scrapped the prosthetic I was supposed to wear which makes me happy, and I'm well rehearsed. I'm very excited for the night to come. The first of the two nights only involves my smaller scene in the grand ballroom, so most of the night is spent wandering around with my horde of talisk minions, just bein' creepy. We had a whole fellowship of evil in our group, and I declared myself the Lich King. Mostly because of wanting to reference Adventure Time, partially because there was only one male lich, but also because I had warrior guards, scouts, a handler, and a grand something-or-other-lady who kept everyone in line. The pretty-boy host of the event Sypher may have his court, and they may own the place, but I had my own. And ours was way more badass.

But I digress. We're out to entertain the guests and give an appetizer of curiosity toward to grand production. Whenever we cross paths with the elves we have a stare down, or whenever I see a Knight of Sypher I cower behind my warrior minions. Actually, I do a lot of cowering. All the time. The other lich and I were informed that we are totally afraid of a fight. Cuz we're old. And because I'm old I'm holding onto one of my helper talis every time I walk down a flight of stairs. It made for a grand entrance most every time, which I found amusing. I'm sure most every single one of the guests didn't realize we were part of the show. They just assumed we were a group of fans who were way too into their costumes. We had people coming up to guess what we were, and then felt "completely dissed" when we wouldn't respond in English. I had someone come up and compliment my leather work, then persistently suggest I enter a contest they heard about. It was kinda awkward. Still not as awkward as when I would point out friends and say something raspy to them, thinking that since the prosthetic was gone I was easily recognizable, but instead only getting legitimately weirded out looks. Later I toned down the character so I could actually get to spend some time with a few of my friends who I was very excited to see without creeping them out. At least not too much. Still, the night was spent with me wandering around in character, trying to incorporate all the weirdness I had been directed and encouraged on, and hoping it creates an impression.
Saturday night was the big night though. At least for me. This was when I got some good stage time and get to fight a knight with dark side of the force powers. I was hella excited for that. Unfortunately, preparing for the night was about as rocky as it could get. I'm not hear to bad mouth, but I'll say that problems arose and we had a very late entrance to the ball. We didn't do nearly as much walking around as before. And when we did, it was rather hurried. I didn't get to fall back and see anyone like I had the previous night. Still, I remained excited for the stage performance. Our group had grown, and despite attempts to get all the talisk together in the same badass way we had on Friday night, it just wasn't happening. So when time came the seven of us made our way backstage, and had an incredibly kickass performance. The audience responded really well, as they are expected to do when six simultaneous epic fights are happening on one stage. I, however, was very surprised how well they responded when the Lich entered. Even more so when I had my moment of playing puppetmaster with my opposing knight. Then Sypher shows up and everybody goes crazy, cuz he's a boss. Way more a boss than the Lich King. But aside from probably never showing my face toward the audience, I had a great performance. And then I was off. Quick as that. Short, but awesome.
We stuck around in the stairwell so that we may join in the company bow at the end of the whole show. So we did that. And then everybody started dancing, which I didn't know was going to happen. I didn't feel much like sticking around for that, so I and my Lich queen left. But... we had agreed to be a part of one last attempt at having a throwndown with the elves in their courtyard, so we did that. I wouldn't say it went smoothly, but we finally pulled it off. Once again, I helped kill a guy, felt refreshed, and left. It was a pretty good note to end on. Though I'm sure everyone watching was thoroughly confused.
After that I once again changed as quickly as I could into my own costume to head down and join the ball as a guest, where I would then be free to hold a conversation and eye contact with my friends. And I also got to stand up straight and not feign that I'm about to fall over every five steps, and that felt great. I did, however, keep the all black outfit and mask motif.

Struggling actor, I choose you!

I got a job offer recently. It was to be a tour guide at a photography gallery for their next exhibit, “Who Shot Rock and Roll?”. This was a pretty perfect job for me. Basically I’d be my job to know everything about these acclaimed photographers to rock icons, their techniques, and probably their subjects as well. All of which, is awesome. I really like knowing trivia, and photography, and rock music! Plus I’ve been doing a dead rock star themed birthday thing all month long, and this just fits right in. It was a great job that I was well suited for, and was thrilled to be offered.

I had to turn it down.

At the beginning of this year, I was unemployed. With exception of a random performance gig here or there, I remained unemployed for five months. I finally got a job. It was perfect. I lost it. I immediately got a second job. This wasn’t perfect, but it was fulfilling, and I was good at it. I got offered this second job in the middle of training for my new one. This new offer paid better, but it had a much stricter schedule. If I were to take it, I’d be able to live comfortably from day to day, but I’d have to miss out on every event I’ve been planning for this summer. I’d have to miss out on the performance jobs I booked, and the PAing work I was asked to join in on. So this was my dilemma: live comfortably and be able to afford things I’ve been wanting for so long, or keep the job that would keep me living hand-to-mouth but would still make room for the adventures I’ve been looking forward to for so long. I tried to do the thing I always do and make both things work together, but they just wouldn’t have it. So I opted to remain a struggling actor. I’d keep the performances, and the adventures, and the low bank account.
I made a vague announcement on Facebook, which stirred up debate. (Why do people take Facebook statuses so seriously?) There was a lot of cries of ‘here here!’ from other actors, but some people didn’t agree with my decision. I said I chose art over comfort, which is terribly vague. So I’m here to be a little clearer. I chose to do what I love rather than miss out. I chose to be happy rather than be content. I chose stress over ease, but I chose the adventurous life over the monotonous one. Also that second job ends in October. The point is, I chose the path that had little bits of the life I want sprinkled in it, instead of the path that was just easier.

I’ve always believed that things worth having don’t come easy. I rarely chose the easy path. I’ve been enlightened recently into how this is not always the right idea, and I really need to learn to keep things simple sometimes. But in the overall bigger picture, I don’t mind toughing it out that much longer if it will lead me to the places I want to be. The second option may have a less arduous and rocky path, but when I reach the end of it, I won’t have taken me where it is I’m trying to go. For all I know, it won’t take me anywhere and I’ll just be walking back and forth, making a rut. If it takes longer, I’ll be patient. If it hurts, I’ll endure. As long as it doesn’t kill me.

And if it does I than I can at least say I’m in the Forever 27 Club.

CMF

Back in college I competed in a competition called Campus MovieFest. My team’s film ended up being the little film that could, and somehow made it to the 2007 International Grand Finale.

Five years later the International Grand Finale is now CMF Hollywood, and it’s grown from a showcase of the fifteen best films of the year to a full-on convention with panels, workshops, and guest speakers. My co-star informed me that the event was happening this weekend, and that he and I were invited to assist as staff. They still remembered us, and liked us, and wanted us to join the crew. I caught up with a few people I had met in Georgia from when I was student competing in this little contest. And then I was asked to moderate a panel on producing with EVPs from Universal and Green Hat…

Never thought five years ago I’d be in Hollywood on the other side of the table, working with those people. Who knew.

I had a dream last night that I had to protect my childhood home from senior citizens who were moving in on the space I was hosting my friends in. What do you think that means?

I just felt like blogging.

A director friend of mine who I’ve worked with a lot recently asked me if I wanted to do some PA work this weekend. Yeah, why not. Sounds fun. So my director friend gave me the info, where I met up with a friend of a friend who ended up being my co-pilot in 2010: Moby Dick, and we worked for two guys my actor friend from high school used to watch (first guy) and work with (second guy) in college. Small world.

Anyway, these two guys have just been hired by the Hub network, of which I’m a fan, to create some small segments to run repeatedly in the after school block, all summer long. (But.. there’s no school..?)  It’s a very low budget, low-tech, two guys and a skeleton crew hamming it up in a rock quarry. Everyone was being paid, and though not much, and it was for recurring bits on a nationwide cable channel, but it was still a bunch of guys making it work for the love of being able to create something.
It was fun. They were a great crew, I enjoyed working with them, and I’m glad various circles of friends overlapped and I got to join them for a day. I was working for friends of friends, but it still felt like I was just helping out friends. Kind of a happy medium between doing the working actor thing I do, and the buddy thing I do. Except I was PAing, not acting. And that’s all kind of fitting cuz they described their job as being between being paid for a regular tv series and roughing it with an internet budget. And cuz they’re film crew guys who were pretty much acting. Crazy, right?

The Strongest Hero There Is

I'm seeing a lot of appreciation for the Hulks greatest moments from the Avengers. Hulk had a lot of fun smashing, and we had a lot of fun watching him smash. But where are the appreciation posts for Bruce Banners greatest moments? I see a lot with him and Tony, and some stuff about him wearing a purple shirt. But I see nothing for when he called Black Widow's bluff, or when he stood against Nick Fury, or the one moment I expected to find by now, his reveal of "I'm always angry."
It was that moment he proved himself a superhero. Bruce looked back at his team, and through the quiet, humble voice he had used pretty much the whole film, he told them he had always been full of anger. He showed them he had the rage they needed, and proved he had the will they had been counting on. And then he punched an alien humpback death whale in the mouth and saved the day.
Yes, it was giant gamma-soaked, adrenaline-fueled strength that smashed that whale, but it was Bruce within the Hulk who let it happen. Just as it was Bruce who caught Tony when he was falling from the sky. The Hulk can smash a tank, but Bruce Banner can tame a monster. That's what makes him the strongest hero there is; he kept an uncontrollable force at bay. He sacrificed himself to let this other guy take the lead. And he stayed strong enough to still remain in control through all the wild emotion to defeat the big bad and catch the damsel in distress. Not that I'm saying Tony is a damsel. What I'm saying is that is the stuff of heroes. There are all kinds of giant monsters and super strong things out there in the Marvel universe. So it's not the strength and ability to smash that makes him a hero. What makes him a hero is the ability to fight a constant opposing force and make such sacrifices in his life, all for the greater good. And even if it didn't make him a hero, it still makes him an amazing person.
Bruce is still human. So all the stress of the team meeting, enhanced by a magic scepter, got to him. He lost it a little bit when the was wind knocked out of him. These instances reminded us of just how hard he must be fighting. It's not an easy task. He is angry, all the time! He must give constant effort to make it work. And he is. These instances also are why he had the moment of doubt that all heroes go through. Sitting in a pile of bricks, surrounded by the unforeseeable consequences of his actions, he wondered one more time about whether or not his efforts were worth it. Whether he was worthy. But then Bruce came back to his team, suited up, and became a superhero.

RIP Maurice Sendak

Earlier today I reblogged a picture of an envelope with a Maurice Sendak drawing on it, saying how I could only dream of one day receiving one. I did not yet know the reason that picture was originally blogged was because he had left us this morning.
Moments before I left for the days tasks, I saw posts saying RIP Maurice Sendak on them. Before I could look into it, or take a moment to pay respect for him, I had to go. I got a call from someone saying they were sorry to hear one of my favorite writers had died. I admitted, just as I will now, Maurice Sendak was not one of my favorite writers. I really like Where the Wild Things Are, just as so many people do. I've seen him in interviews and read quotations from him that make him to be a fascinating, honest artist to me. And I love that he regards children's literature as a higher art form than most give it credit for. Even fans of Where the Wild Things Are. I don't have any other of his books, I'm not familiar with the majority of his work, so I'm not comfortable suddenly calling myself a fan of his simply because he has passed away. I want to give him more respect for that, because at the very least, I really respect him.
So tonight, before bed, I'll read through what is the centerpiece of my bookshelf and appreciate his words, his drawings, and his art. I'll have half a smile. And I'll go to bed, hopefully to dream and go where the wild things are. And then I will roar. I will give a moment of roar for Maurice Sendak.

My roommate introduced me to “Spaced” this morning. Watching episode 3, during Brian’s ex-girlfriend’s theatrical art piece, I was cracking up at how committed this show was to its absurdity. I really appreciated how committed they were to the bit.
After all the ridiculousness that was this performance, she took a bow, received a weak smattering of applause, and, without pulling up from her bowed position, told the audience that she was not finished. She stayed bent over in silence.
I sat and stared with this smile on my face, then I started full-on laughing, then laughing even harder. And then I felt the joke had run its course, as I waited and waited for her to declare the performance “finished”. Finally, after five minutes of this avaunt-guard suspense, my roommate came back into the room and told me that the DVD had froze, at the Best Possible Moment.

spent my first night in my new apartment. Nothing is unpacked. When I woke up hungry for breakfast, I remembered I had a packet of oatmeal and an apple. All I had to dig out of the boxes was a tea kettle, which was an easy find. But because I’m an idiot, I forgot I also need a bowl to put the oatmeal in. After some more digging, I found a piece of tupperware that would do. Then I remembered I also need a fork to eat it with. I already poured the hot water into the oatmeal. There was no turning back now. So I bit into my apple. I ate it until I carved out a spoonish shape into the apple so I could scoop up the oatmeal and eat it from my apple. And because the oatmeal was cinnamon and spice flavored, they went together perfectly. I’m the most brilliant idiot there is.

In a dream last night I was left two letters, at the top of the stairs. One of them was from Cobie Smulders, saying we couldn't be together anymore. It was a long letter, full of charted data plotting how she just didn't have the time to devote to a relationship, and she has to let me go. But I'll never forget that first moment at what I presume was an award show, when she was dressed so elegantly, but smiled like a school girl when she took my hand. It was lovely.
Oh Cobie, brief as it were, I'll never forget our time together.
I woke up before I could read the second one. But I knew it was another rejection. I can only imagine it had something to do with Cobie Smulders.

The Hunger Games

Usually I write these reviews immediately after seeing the movie, and it's been a few weeks since I've had the time to do this, so forgive me in that the steam has died a little. I did just now watch the trailers to remind me of how I liked the movie, which was fun cuz usually I avoid trailers at all costs, so they were exciting to see. By the way, whoever edited the first theatrical trailer did an incredible job. Give that person a comfier chair, they earned it.
Alright, onto the review.
I mentioned in my blog that The Hunger Games was the first book I read in a day. If you wanna know why that's such a big deal, read my blog. But I bring it up to emphasize just how much I enjoyed the experience of reading The Hunger Games. I hoped that the experience I got from the film wouldn't disappoint. It didn't. I'll say it wasn't as solid of an experience, and I'll get to why that is in a moment, but it still was an enthralling movie viewing experience.
What won we over in Suzanne Collins' writing was how easily and purely she put the reader into Katniss Everdeen's place. The perspective in the book is entirely through her thoughts, memories, and reactions. It's so easy to connect to her and feel for her because the way it's read, we all might as well be her. The dialogue was casual and the asides were natural. Nothing felt elevated or forced, it felt just as if this was a first hand experience that went straight from her brain's synapses to the page. The writing was even clever enough that nothing needed to be explained to me in a direct manner. I was just given information and was allowed to put it together myself. Just like in the way my brain works. And considering this book was set in the new nation of a dystopian future with it's own customs and jargon, the fact nothing had to be explained to me says something.
Still, above the accomplishment of giving the reader information in a way that doesn't remind you're merely a reader of a book is Collins' ability to put the reader so deeply in the place of her protagonist that the reader truly empathizes with the character. That's what I loved about The Hunger Games film. The film gave its viewer as much of Katniss' experience as it could. Rather than letting the action play out in front of us, like some disconnected sports fan from the Capitol, the filmmakers wanted us to have the experience of one of the tributes right in the middle of the games. Director Gary Ross utilized all the techniques his crew had to let the audience be a part of Katniss' story, rather than just watching it. Shaky cameras, ringing silence, slowed moments, blurred focus,and misframed shots are things that usually deter an audience. And I'm sure it deterred some people in this movie. It made it harder to see or hear all the action going on in some scenes, but, in my opinion, it gave us so much more.
These tricks were craftfully used to give us Katniss' account of what was happening around her. Yeah, I didn't get to see a handful of nameless characters die in a flurry of blood and violence, but I got to feel the exhilartion and fear that Katniss must have felt as she ran into the choas and decided that was a bad move. I could tell just how bad it was. I didn't logically come to that conclusion by inducing the other characters killing each other may or may not come to Katniss' space where they would most likely decide to kill her as well. I knew she had made a mistake worthy of putting me on the edge of my seat in concern because I felt it. Ross had set the scene up to make me understand how scared she was by playing out her experience for us in the way it came to her, taking time when there was a long hallway, and throwing us into the madness when a countdown reached zero. Most films try to slow down the interesting moments and skip past the uninteresting ones, which usually is a very good thing to do. But Ross played out everything for what it was. He let us stew in the anticipation in that long hallway, and when the countdown reached zero our eyes and ears had to keep up or else miss something. I felt the pressure Katniss felt. I felt relief when there was calm, and my heart went racing when there was action. Just as with the books, I felt right there in Katniss' place because the film did it's best to let me experience it first hand.
Now, keep in mind what I said there. The film did the best it could. This film was incredibly clever to give us the information we needed in that casual, natural way that the book did. But it couldn't do it for everything. It still reverted to that old staple of having an educational video give us the exposition for the setting. It had to explain tracker jackers to the audience. And it had to use flashbacks to stir up Katniss' old emotions when words would only fail. That's just how it is. Movies have to be a little more blunt than books because movies can't tell us what a character is thinking. If it sets things up right it can suggest it, and actor can show us what a character is feeling, but the only way for a movie to spell out exactly what a character is thinking is with a voice-over, but then you just might as well have a narrator tell you straight up. So, Katniss can wonder what Gale is thinking of her when she's in the cave, but we won't know that's what's on her mind through the facade she's putting on unless the director cuts to Gale doing that.
So no, the feels-like-I'm-really-there experience of the movie isn't as solid as the book. And no amount of 3D is ever going to fix that. Unfortunately, to give those in the audience who hadn't read the books and already knew everything the information that was necessary to follow along, there were scenes which cut away from Katniss and our first hand experience. The film cut to the Greek chorus that was Gale and Katniss' loved ones, and to the narrator that was Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith's commentary. When those tracker jackers showed up, the writers went to that old staple so the audience knew they were not ordinary wasps and how they could easily kill a career tribute. I just wish they had been a little less straightforward with how they got that information out. I felt like the rest of the film was so clever in telling us stuff that to have it explained like an encyclopedia would do it just fell short. My only complaint really.
But getting back to what I was saying, the book had to be adapted into a movie. Pretty much all of them do when they become movies. So Ross decides to cut to a few scenes and take us away from Katniss for a moment. Well, if we're going to be forced to pause on the Katniss Everdeen Experience, and instead focus on someone else for a moment, we might as well roll with that. To give us perspective on what exactly is happening to her. Ross takes us behind the scenes to see how the show that is the Hunger Games is put on. He gives us insight to Haymitch's workings, and how events in the book get to where they can take place. He devises a new character to make this all relatable to the story. Pretty cool. Not sure whether I would rather it be left out like in the book, but I can see how it fills in the picture. I can only imagine that it's really setting the stage for the sequels. We'll just have to wait and see. I will say, in most cases these additions did give me more of the foreboding sense of the omni-powerful Capitol that Katniss already knew of. So I think it does tie back to the goal of giving us the first hand experience that the books did. However, there definitely were scenes that were just secondary plot unfolding. Yes, it made me dislike President Snow as much as Katniss and Peeta must, but it did seem unnecessary. Like I said, I can only assume it's needed for the sequels. I will say the final moment with President Snow brought out the same reaction I had in the final moment of the book; "I need to know what happens next!" Somehow they managed to flesh out the plot and expand upon the story, while also allowing us to take our time with scenes, and still keep things to the point. Even more impressive, they did all that editing and didn't miss anything.
What I enjoyed the most with this film is how well it managed to adapt the book and still give the same experience. Yes, characters were left out, and thus moments with those characters were also left out. Not everything happened the way it did in the book and therefore I did not have the same exact experience. What I'm saying is, through Jennifer Lawrence's phenomenal acting and the direction of this film, I experienced The Hunger Games. I didn't just watch it, I felt it. And just like with the book, I kept wanting to know what happened next. Being someone who had read the book beforehand, you'd think I wouldn't have that feeling watching the movie, but that's how immersed I was into this film. That's how well they snagged me; I felt everything all over again. All the anticipation and all the dread. The addition of new scenes and characters, as well as the exemption of others shook things up just enough, and then there was the reaction to Rue. Oh man. That was my favorite moment from the book. They took it out. But what they did instead really shook things up. Katniss didn't know what was going on, but I wouldn't want to miss out on that moment. It fills out the picture, and I know it's setting up those sequels. I'm glad they adapted that scene, cuz I can't wait to see what happens next.

I was listening to “YMCA” while packing up to leave this apartment, and now I have a whole new understanding of the song. It’s like I was hearing it for the first time. And the Village People were singing it just for me. Thank you Village People.

American Idiot: The Musical

I've written before about my obsession with Green Day's American Idiot, my dream of one day getting to perform in an adaptation of it, and my heartbreak of missing out on the show when it premiered in Berkeley. I had just moved to Los Angeles, I was poor as dirt, and by the time I scrounged enough money together to go see the show, it was sold out. After dreaming of what a dramatic performance of American Idiot would be like for four years, I'd have to wait another two and half before the show would have gone to Broadway, rocked the city, toured around the country, and finally make it's way back to Southern California where I might have a second chance to see it.

But it finally did! Trouble is, this time I'm poor as $#*+ and have even less of a chance to afford tickets. Well, my good friend Sami surprised me with tickets as an early birthday present, and next thing I know I was finally going to see the show. I had a crazy past couple of days, today being no exception, but when I had 20 minutes to get ready, I dressed up in what I always had imagine was the fashion of the Jesus of Suburbia (just like a good fan usually does on opening night) and we headed off.

It was like a rock concert to me. We got our tickets at will call, walked in, checked out the merch booth, and then found our way to the pit of the arena. Or in this case, the orchestra seating. I was a few rows back from the front, but dead center, just like I did when I saw Green Day do their American Idiot tour. Except this time I was the only one dressed for the occasion and younger than 50. I was thumbing through the program, checking out the song list for the show, delighted at seeing all the 'Idiot' B-sides and tracks from 21st Century Breakdown which will make this version. Sami asked which were which, and upon explaining the conversation went into the story of the original American Idiot album. Then a guy sitting a few seats away moved in closer and asked me to tell him all about it. I was honored to be sharing the story and concepts and alternate theories of the rock opera with people, then conversing on how different the stage show would be with new songs and characters. Just as I was wrapping up my theories, the lights dimmed. And after all my countless hours listening, discussing, theorizing, and imagining.. my mind was about to be blown all over again.

The lights dimmed and the curtain remained still. Among the waning murmurs of the audience was a growing rabble of early 21st century media. Real audio snippets of television, music, commercials, politics, war declarations, and all the soundbites that drove our country mad a decade ago. The curtain rose, and there was the source of that rabble. Towering walls of television monitors stealing attention from the people on the stage, who all with their backs to the people watching them, and with remotes fixed firmly in their hands. They, like us, were entranced by the imagery that was all too familiar and suffocating. Then someone shouted. "Don't wanna be an American idiot!" Boom. Everything was shook up and we snapped out of our trances. For the next hour and forty minutes, our attention never left the cast of young Americans rocking the stage.
The stage is set just like that of a small town repertory theatre company putting on a grassroots performance of something that was clearly dreamed up by a fan who didn't have much more than passion and good cast to work with. The set looked as if it's nothing more than the walls and doors already built into the building. The band is standing on stage with the cast. The cast is strewn about a limited set made almost entirely of scaffolding and some boxes. I think I even saw a broken tv set turned away from the audience, as if they fished it out of the dumpster cuz that's all they had. I don't know if this was because the show started this way when they debuted at the Berkeley Repertory Theater and they wanted to stay close to their roots, or because scenic designer Christine Jones is freaking brilliant. It's probably both. Either way I have all the respect in the world for the technical team on this show. The artistic direction of the show utilized minimalistic set pieces, gobo lighting, projections, video screens, and having most every ensemble actor on stage at all times; all the black box theater staples. That's how this show felt. It had that raw aesthetic of a black box performance put on by a group of starving artists, with all the passion that comes with that kind of show. But it also had the powerhouse talent and finely tuned production value of a Tony award-winning Broadway show. Somehow the cast and crew of American Idiot found a way to walk the line between organic passion project and mainstream musical, and do it a million and one £÷¢&ing times.

Amidst shouting out that anthem against mainstream media, the cast took the stage like frustrated rock stars finally letting out their angst. Which is perfectly appropriate. The ensemble players pause between whichever lines and verses they are cued to belt to bend over and stomp the ground the way which I have done all too often whenever I've got something in me that I can only get out through a good song. Throughout the show I took notice of choreography that seemed to come right out of my bag of moves done when rocking out at concerts and in my bedroom. And of course, a big part of these kudos goes to the choreographer who was bold enough to use mosh pit moves on a musical theatre stage. But it's the cast who really put themselves into these songs, letting it well up and inside them and then allowing it to burst out of them when the time was right. And when done in unison, it's an impressive spectacle of both emotion from the characters and drive from the actors. And as a rocker who had to endure hearing theatre kids pretending to have that rock n' roll attitude when Rocky Horror was being put on in my college's conservatory theater, I really appreciated seeing actors who had genuinely found that fire within them and knew how to let go of music theatre merit enough to rock.
Personally, I especially appreciated the actors who were clear homages to Green Day's band members. Larkin Bogan (@LBogster) made me giddy at seeing and hearing "Billie Joe" on stage. But in total truth, each individual actor had moments that captivated me and each one gave an outstanding performance. The main protagonist of the American Idiot album, the Jesus of Suburbia, who goes out into the city only to make the wrong choices, lose everything, and come home defeated, was shared by three tragic heroes. Each character took a unique path, all of which could be described as the fall of the American dream; Will doing the 'couch tour', Tunny doing the USO tour, and Johnny wandering aimlessly around the big city. Actors Jake Epstein (@Jake_Epstein), J. Scott Campbell (@ScottJCampbell7), and Van Hughes respectively each gave leading performances, starting from the same place as very similar roles, arcing through their different stories until they were almost unrecognizable by the end, and finally standing strongly as three very separate, real characters. Of course, they were supported by the driving forces behind their transformations, the love interests. Actresses Lesie McDonel (@lesliemcdonel), Nicci Claspell (@nclaspell), and Gabrielle McClinton (@gabbymcclinton) played opposites the JoS trio, as well as a few ensemble roles in certain numbers. Regardless of whether their character had names or not, their presence was strongly felt when they took command of the stage. Especially when joined by their fellow actresses for "Letterbomb" when they demanded attention and never let go of it. It was intimidating how hard they rocked that number. And I also have to give praise to the bombastic, almost surreal performances of Jarran Muse (@Jarranmuse) as the undeniably perfect Favorite Son, and Joshua Kobak as uncontrollably fantastic St. Jimmy. Muse had the honor of the token fun song of a good musical theatre show, and reveled in it so much we had fun watching him, making his sudden turn to seriousness all the more impacting. Kobak was an entirely different type of fun to watch, with his sparkling face and devilish smile all over the video screens or capturing even the dimmest of light, either way allowing us to appreciate his mischievous and devious performance. True to his role, he and his epically wailing voice were irresistible. And as I mentioned, the entire ensemble was solid. Even when someone would step out to take the lead in the song or begin a piece of choreography, it took focus. The performances were sharp and strong. Each face and voice became familiar, and each one was great.

Now, as I said earlier, a good part of the stage presence is credited to choreographer Steven Hoggett. Not only did he infuse alternative rock and punk into dance, but he managed to tell complex stories in a matter of seconds without sacrificing one ounce of the emotional impact that comes from them. At the same time, he took brief moments and savored the drama from them via extended movement. As a rock opera, most of the what is told was through poetic lyrics which are representative of ideas and feelings, and also open to interpretation. So the plot was given to us through gesture in clever and engaging choreography. But just the same, a lot of the choreography was representative of what the characters were feeling, with the staging giving the clues. I suppose this is the beauty of the show; the collaborative nature in presentation and potency. At one point in the show, I was taking notice of the projected lighting on the walls, which had set a tone which I found intriguing. Then a change in costuming, which I understood the point of, though I still hadn't put two and two together. Soon, the movement of the actors had completed the scene. And once I felt its full impact, tears came to my eyes.
The stories told in this show carried such weight, and many specific moments gave us the full force of that weight. Characters reaching out for one another, the sounds of bombs exploding, punches in the music, quells in the music, everything from the entire cast rushing the stage to one sole performer softly singing out to the spotlight all by his lonesome. I found myself reacting with fear and sorrow just as much as I did with excitement and joy. There is a great deal in this musical that resonates in me. Each song means something to me, as I'm sure it does most, and there are more lines than I can count which hold some specific significance to my own personal experience. I have my ideas about the show and the characters, yet this show surpassed almost every one of them. I never imagined the scale this show would have, or how moments that meant something to me would be presented in such a universal and powerful way. I always imagined American Idiot as a story of a kid who wanted something more, and his internal struggles brought on and reflected by his surroundings, the decisions he makes, and the consequences of them. After watching American Idiot: The Musical, and witnessing director Michael Mayer's vision of the same album I was obsessed with, I'm shown three separate stories, about all of us affected by the recent past, the struggles brought on by life, whether a consequence of our actions or not. This version of Idiot is not just about one's own rage and love, it's about how it affects us. How our peers, our home, our country, and our own lives affect us. The good and the bad. The destined and the chanced. The comedic and the tragic.

In the seven and a half years I've been a fan of American Idiot, I've found the B-sides, the omitted tracks, the mashups, and of course, the follow-up, 21st Century Breakdown. American Idiot: The Musical is the culmination of this whole catalog, being something that is greater than the sum of it's parts. Just as it's a show with major themes, brilliant direction, talented players, and a kickass soundtrack that still exceeds it's hype. Still, with all these great qualities and fine source material, what I love most about this show was just how much it rocked. Throughout the show I would look over at the band on stage, and they looked like were having just a much fun playing this show as I'm sure they did playing the first one. The actors must have a serious case of 'rock neck' from the headbanging they do. And I'm sure it's in the choreography, but they still do it to the fullest. They performed this show full force, singing, jumping, pounding, dancing, everything. They just rocked. The music was loud, the performances were dynamic, and the show is amazing because of it. The music was more a part of this show than your standard musical; on more than one occasion an actor played an important instrument for a song. There was even a moment where an actor delivered a line, and it got a laugh cuz the drummer of the band had the reaction. It was a real ensemble show in that regard, where everyone supported each other, and every contributed to how hard it blew the doors off. This show was so good, and the performances were so engaging, that I couldn't help but find myself singing along. If I wasn't doing that, it was because my jaw had probably dropped, or I was in awe of the stage, or because I was tense in anticipation of the drama playing out on stage. Still, it took every ounce of my being to remind myself that grabbing the seat in front of me and rocking out is not acceptable theater behavior. I had to tell myself that while I am enjoying it as much as I am, it's not a rock concert no matter how much it feels like one.

But in true concert going fashion, I made sure to get up to the stage to grab a flyer (closest thing to the set list) and a guitar pick from the show. Tonight was awesome and I wanted souvenirs!

One of my besties got me a folder with a unicorn you could spin on a wheel of unicorn hobbies. You spin the unicorn and it's horn answers the necessary question, What Would a Unicorn Do?

I couldn't decide whether to keep applying for jobs like I had done all morning, or to take a break and do something else. I spun the unicorn and it told me "Chase a Rainbow". Clearly it meant I should continue to pursue the pot of gold that are often associated with rainbows and made into a metaphor of wealth. But I thought before I follow the unicorns advice, I'll get a drink. I grabbed a cup, pulled out some ice cubes, and cracked open a soda. The soda immediately foamed up and spat through the barely ajar cap like a clown's seltzer-water all over my shirt and pants. And no where else.
I sat down and resumed applying for jobs in my soda-drenched clothes.
You do what the unicorn tells you to do and nothing else.

I'm registered with The Capitol.

After being told by a few friends how much I would love reading The Hunger Games, and finally having the time to read it (I'm currently powering through three novel-series), I asked friends for a copy. I got a lot of responses as everyone is currently on this bandwagon, and finally one friend through a copy down in front of me. I went home, and started reading.
Here's the thing, I am a terrible reader. When I was in middle school I was at a gifted school that forced me to read books four years ahead of my grade for the sole purpose of remembering trivial points to pass a quiz on the book to prove I had read it. I didn't read Jurassic Park (the only entertaining one on the list) to appreciate its message, I read it to remember that the T-Rex did this one thing at some point. So this reading program totally backfired and killed my enthusiasm for reading. Ten years later I started reading Harry Potter, and my interest in reading picked up greatly, and A Song of Fire and Ice has been keeping me invested. But it still took me far too long to read Order of the Phoenix. I sat down with The Hunger Games, and I could not stop reading. I had to know what was gonna happen next. The way it's written, I freaking love it. Suzanne Collins has this way of teasing and dropping hints of what is to come, and it kept me so invested in the story that I could not set it down without being frustrated at myself. I forced myself to stop reading after Part I for the sake of sleep. But when I woke up in the morning I rolled over, picked up the book, and was right back at it. I made myself breakfast and went about my day with the book in my hand the whole time. I had to look away a few time obviously, but I wouldn't allow myself to put it down. I stopped after Part III to stretch my legs, and that was it, I went right back to it and neglected my responsibilities for the day to see how it all ended. I finished that book in one sitting. That is a huge freaking deal to me.
So now I'm forcing myself to not read the next two, purely because, as I said, I'm reading two other novel-series and I need to get them done. My motivation for finishing the next two books is the enjoyment I will get from these two awesome series. But my motivation to get them read quickly will be to get back to the games and see what happens when Katniss comes home. I mean, Collins ended it on a cliffhanger! Who does that?! I gotta know what happens next! (Don't you dare spoil it for me.)
Anyway, point is I'm a fan.

There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.

Douglas H. Everett

I was thinking over quotations I like the other day to get my lost boy name from the East of Kensington team (by the way, if you have no idea what I'm talking about then check out "East of Kensington", and if you do then you should totally donate to them and get your own lost boy or girl name), and this one came to mind. I ended up passing on it in favor of one that I remembered more frequently, a quotation on the act of the good deed that I tend to agree with and even live by. It was said by 'God' in Futurama (if you know what I'm talking about now you're awesome). But the more I thought on this other quotation, about blending the dream world with the real world, the more I realized how much I live by that too.
It's my goal in life. I've done it more than a hundred times already. And I will forever make the effort to make our mundane, often unpleasant world into a more magical, joyful one for both myself and everyone around. Especially total strangers. Not to mention, it's really fun getting to do what most people think is impossible.
People always want to what the secret is and have things figured out. Spectators continually guess how the trick is done. Guests at theme parks tell its employees they already got it and it's okay to talk about. Everyone is so proud of themselves for being too proud to just accept what they are presented. Isn't it more fun to be astounded by the suddenly appearing tiger, rather than to have "solved it"? In my experience, the people who enjoyed Disney World the most were the people who worked there, because they really knew, and more than anyone they saw the magic. People don't seem to understand how special it was for me to know Mickey Mouse personally, and how on my last day he thought up the most tear-of-joy-jerking picture to take with him. Most parents shove their kids forward into Mickey, snap the picture, and move on like they're completely a scavenger hunt. I can tell you right now that Mickey hates that. And he's not a hateful person. he wants those kids to enjoy the experience and have a magical moment, and I'm sure a large part of that is because by not getting to appreciate it, they'll grow up, act the same way their parents did, try to figure out the trick, and never be able to see the magic either. I also happen to know a magician or two personally, and I should also let you know that for every way you may have think you've solved the trick, there's at least two more ways of doing it you haven't figured out. You're not gonna figure it out so stop worrying about it and enjoy the show.
But I digress. This wasn't meant to be a negative blog scolding people. This is just something I wanted to point out about how great it is to blend the fantasy with the reality. I prefer to look back on some of my own memories in a more fantastic light. While I'm well aware that I didn't actually flee lighting by seeking shelter in a wrecked pirate ship, I'm also aware the human mind unconsciously alters one's memories, and I might as well describe mine to others as awesomely as it felt. I'm not sure that made sense, but the point is my life is all the more amazing to me. And my favorite stories come from when I created a character for a movie and gave him a MySpace page, enveloping people in the real world to seek his advice. Or when I showed up to a rendezvous point in a bloody shirt at 4am purely because common people agreed to meet me there when I was pretending to be an archetypal mobster. And as an actor, the whole point of my profession is to make people believe in fiction; to make what they know to be play trick them into feeling as if it was real. There's no better way to do that than by making that it real. Turning the dream that someone thought up, and that I'm playing in, into reality for someone else watching it.
I say my background in acting is in interactive performance, something most people have never heard of and don't understand once they do hear of it. It was introduced to me by Jeff Wirth, a brilliant artist of a performer now trying to spread his ground-breaking genre in New York. If you ever hear of him, I suggest you look him up and volunteer when he asks for someone to play. Anyway, with interactive performance the line between the real world and the pretend world goes unnoticed. And the line between the actor and the audience is gone. I've seen two people who aren't actors playing out a dramatic scene, in character, without knowing the other wasn't working from a script. Two people who were playing pretend, and they were so invested in the story that in the time they were participating, it was real to them. And to a degree, it was. They emotions they felt, the plans they hatched, the efforts they made were totally real, created by them. They could have turned down the offer to play along, and they could've broken character and asked questions, or tried to find the cameras watching them and call everyone out. But they didn't. They felt how incredible and freeing the experience was for them, they saw the temporary life they were presented, and they lived in it for a while. I was there and it was awesome.
So the next time you go see a magic act, let yourself be amazed! How often do you get the chance to see a bird be born out of fire?! And next time you see Kermit the Frog, remind yourself you are watching a talking frog! When was the last time you saw a talking frog!? If you ever meet Superman, don't forget he's a really busy guy and you may never get the chance to meet him again. Don't rob yourself of these opportunities and wind up telling yourself you never got to do something like seeing a talking frog. I'm tellin' ya, I've met princesses and monsters, played tag with Peter Pan, sparred with Darth Vader, sat in a Norse god's throne, had epic battles in department stores, and have the ability to see magic. My life is awesome.