spent my first night in my new apartment. Nothing is unpacked. When I woke up hungry for breakfast, I remembered I had a packet of oatmeal and an apple. All I had to dig out of the boxes was a tea kettle, which was an easy find. But because I’m an idiot, I forgot I also need a bowl to put the oatmeal in. After some more digging, I found a piece of tupperware that would do. Then I remembered I also need a fork to eat it with. I already poured the hot water into the oatmeal. There was no turning back now. So I bit into my apple. I ate it until I carved out a spoonish shape into the apple so I could scoop up the oatmeal and eat it from my apple. And because the oatmeal was cinnamon and spice flavored, they went together perfectly. I’m the most brilliant idiot there is.